Assalamualaikum and Greetings
Hot News
After a long lay off d'SUARANG sports desk managed a scoop. Something hot on the sporting front. Something that most of the time happens within the EPL*. The signing of players into this fantastic team . . . MU*!
Ahmad Iman Iskandar bin Mohd Rashidiaka Tomato Man
(Superb Attacking MU Player)
Azim Muqry Basrie bin Royhai'zam aka Black Seed Boy
(Intelligent Utility MU Player)
Umar Ilham Majid bin Halmy Zahariaka Mamak CT
(Brilliant Defensive MU Player)
The Board of Managers managed to lure (to mean the act before acquiring) these very talented big names (long names to be more precise) into the team by offering them very attractive returns. Among others . . . daily return tickets encompassing Ampang- UK Perdana - d'SUARANG and self-sponsored dairy packages plus constant medic care and personal welfare. Board and lodging is simply free!
Routine training and exercise in the form of joining/participating on free trips to destinations all over (sometimes even to out of this world places) is provided to flex the players muscle and keep them energetic. Hopefully this will prove to be a plus factor. Players must be tough and fully fit to win matches!
Annual and periodical bonuses are also paid to the players. This usually happens when approaching or during festive seasons. Performance bonus is at the discretion of the Board of Managers.
All things said, the Board of Managers of course expects all things good in return from the players and their handlers too.
Question: "Who is handling you?"
P1Aii:"I am being handled by a foreign coach . . . My local 'kin' handler is not that keen . . . I just kick the ball around man . . ."
Question: "What position suits you best?"
P1Aii:"Off position lah!"
Question: "Why are you here?"
P2 Amb: "What else can I do . . . It runs in the family . . . I cannot get out of this one!"
Question: "What's your greatest asset as a utility player?"
P2 Amb: " My two-way early bird habit I guess."
Question: "How do you mean?"
P2 Amb: "Somehow . . . I always go into the field early for workouts . . . and leave the field twice as early . . . worked out!"
P3 Uim: Me? . . . I have no handler as yet . . .
Question: Why?
P3 Uim: Because . . .
. . . my (by right) handler is an ardent aka die hard fan of Che Su FA . . . for whatever reason lah!
Question: So what are you going to do about it?
P3 Uim: Guess I'll just have to call on Atuk M to be my handler . . . at least until I'm 18 . . . when I can blow my own whistle . . . right and proper. . . man!
Question: Why chose MU?
P3 Uim: That was the only org with available attire then . . . I don't want to go belengeng or even bolen . . .
Suko kaulah Jang! . . . as the saying goes in NS dialect . . . and . . . the layman says, " I scratch your back, you scratch mine". Bye for now.
Legend:
*EPL : Exclusively Private League
*MU : Majid's United
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